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Swans Are F****** Arseholes

20 - 22 February

A dark comedy for the algorithm age: absurd, alarming, and painfully human.

All Sarah wants is to be normal. Normal enough to keep her relationship with
her boyfriend Mark, normal enough to hold a job, and normal enough to finally
get sober and stay that way. She’s counting days, avoiding old habits, and trying to rebuild her life—until the internet explodes.

An AI-generated sex tape of Sarah with a swan goes viral overnight.
Strangers recognize her, sobriety meetings become unbearable, and Mark
doesn’t know what to believe. Sarah insists it isn’t her, but in a world where
images feel more real than truth, denial means very little. As the video spirals
into memes, outrage, and public judgment, one question haunts everything: who made the tape, and why?

By BBC New Creative and Soho Theatre, Criterion Theatre & Mercury Theatre
Writers Alumni, Emma Zadow. Previously presented in scratch nights at The
Pleasance Theatre, Union Theatre and Criterion Theatre West End in their
Playwrights Industry Showcase.

Previous Feedback on the script:
“Vivid, timely, wild and exciting.” – Lucy Kirkwood

LOSE YOUR MARBLES

23 February

An evening of pure absurdist comedy with extreme ASMR practitioner Yogie Belle and friends.

Get ready to Lose Your Marbles at the Canal Café Theatre in Little Venice, Maida Vale!

Curated by the worlds #1 extreme ASMR practitioner and sound beautician, Yogie Belle, this vaudevillian extravaganza delivers a hand-picked line-up of alternative acts who’ll leave you wailing with joy like a dolphin that’s escaped from Leningrad zoo.

Unapologetically original absurd alternative comedy— from the front trenches of the fringe.

Lose Your Marbles celebrates the theatre of the weird, the wild, and the wonderfully bizarre in a collision of storytelling, performance, music and clowning in a kaleidoscope of unlimited limitless silliness.

What to Expect:

· Fringe artists who dare to be different.

· A chaotic night of pure comedic anarchy.

· The perfect evening for fans of boundary-pushing brilliance.

LAUGHING MATTERS

27 - 28 February

When a comedian’s life changes overnight, Laughing Matters explores his struggle to pick up the pieces of his life and his material.

“A polished and assured piece of theatre…no word in the script goes to waste’”– Everything Theatre

Part stand-up show, part soul-searching monologue, Laughing Matters is a bittersweet exploration of grief, love, and creativity.

The show follows Chris, an up-and-coming stand-up comedian as a major and tragic life event forces him to throw out his once-reliable stand-up material and start again. As he struggles to rebuild his set and his life, he must also confront deeper questions about truth, performance, and what it means to be authentic.

With a blend of humour, heartbreak, and hope, Laughing Matters pulls back the curtain on the process of turning life’s most painful moments into something worth laughing at.

NEIL FROST PRESENTS: THE DOOR 

4 March 7.30pm

“It's 1985. I'm dressed as Peter Pan. All I have to worry about is remembering my Nan's landline number.” 

Award-winning performer Neil Frost brings old photos taken in front of his Nan's kitchen door to life, unravelling the stories behind them with masterful silliness. A nostalgic, poignant comedy about living with your grandparents in 80's Britain, childhood dreams and the power of fancy dress. 

The Door is a solo clown show with real heart, a lovingly crafted piece of theatre that reflects on growing up, moving on and saying goodbye to versions of ourselves and those we love. 

"Frost is the ultimate comedian" ★★★★★ (Fourth Wall) 

"Genuinely touching" ★★★★★ (Stage Whisper) 

"Hilarious" ★★★★★ (The Reviews Hub) 

"Masterful silliness … a rare treat, not one to miss" ★★★★★ (The Clothesline) 

"An enchanting experience" ★★★★★ (Theatre & Tonic) 

Written and performed by Neil Frost 

Directed by Lucy Hopkins and Dan Lees 

BARELY HUMAN

13 - 15 March

Post-prison cabaret at its messiest: can violence ever be justified?

Eva’s out of prison on early release. Her therapist said a cabaret would be a great creative outlet. So here she is! She’s a bit raw still. She’s a bit raw all the time, actually. But her parole officer will be there, so she can’t do anything too crazy. Right? She’s going to sing some songs for you. And tell you some funny stories. Be nice and help her start her new life off fresh. By the by, people take things too literally – don’t you think? There’s a lot of violence in the world,
and sometimes you’ve just got to make a statement. Symbolic crime, if you will. Chocolate milk, anyone?

Barely Human is Eva Voss’s second cabaret. Her first, Yeet The Dog, explored the dark side of life in a humorous, heartfelt way: we’re all going to experience loss, pain and absurdity, so we’d better love our lives through it. Eva also co-founded Far Between Theatre (@farbetweentheatre), with whom she will be performing a raucous jazz-age Much Ado About Nothing in March 2026. Far Between Theatre makes it its mission to tell stories of softness, difference and violence, encouraging audiences to open up their hearts and fire up
their bellies.

Looking for Wolverhampton’s Latin Quarter

3 April

A funny, touching and self-deprecating account of growing up in 1970s Wolverhampton.

Winner of the New York Radio Festivals Award 2025 for his collaboration
with Andrew McGibbon on their acclaimed Radio 4 play When Alan met
Ray, starring Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse, Ian returns to Canal
Cafe with his sell out Edinburgh Fringe comedy play about growing up in
Wolverhampton in the 1970s.

He looks back at his deluded teenage years. Being a trainee butcher at
the Co-op is only a temporary situation before he reveals his true artistic
talents to the world. No careers officer or personnel manager is going to
stop him producing his rock album, publishing his poetry or mounting
his first exhibition. A world of awkward romantic relationships, Sex Pistols, Crossroads and Angel Delight.